Brush with extreme poverty

This said brush with extreme poverty came last wednesday, when I had to have yet ANOTHER interview with my friends at the Unemployment office. I got home from the football game a couple weeks ago, and after checking the mail, I thought "WOOHOO! Another check" when I saw the beloved/befouled "EDD" logo on the envelope. Soon after, I started to worry; it wasn't the pretty, colorful paper inside that indicated a check was awaiting me... no, this one was plain, clinical, white. Not good. I opened the contents, and sure enough, they wanted to schedule me for another interview "to ensure you remain eligible".....

Ummm, bad. See, the people at EDD, misguided as they are, don't embrace progress. Thus, if you wanted to, say, get your MBA and start a job in a different industry, they don't encourage that. (Read: You won't get any money if you say you're switching industries). Thus, when they wrote down the questions they may discuss during my interview, I had to get some assistance on how I would answer them. (Called in mom for that one... she's great!). Of course, this required some very skilled maneuvering, some of which was reminiscent of Bill Clinton during his famous interview re: Ms. Lewinski

For Example:

When did you last work for a school employer? (Gave date)
Are you on a recess period? "NO". Clarification:I'm not working any more so I sorta AM on recess, but the SCHOOL isn't in recess....
When did your recess period begin and when did it end? N/A. (Mine never ended, but the school went back on september 8th...)

Will you return to work for any school employer at the end of the recess period? None of the ones I've previously worked for, no...and for reasons already stated. (that deflects the attention off the real question: Are you going back to work at a school. Answer to remain eligible should be YES....)

Are you on a list to be called in to work by your school employer or another school employer during the recess period?
Define "Work".
(this is the one reminsicent of our friend Bill...of course what I mean is "do you mean full time work or substitute work? I'm on the sub list but they refuse to give me full time work. )
Have you been called to work?
Not that I know of. (Does looking at the caller ID and ignoring all calls that say LBUSD count?No one can prove that I got the call if I never answer it!)

Well, apparently my answers were sufficient to remain eligible (although barely so, in my opinion) because I got another check!!!!

Luckily, though I won't have to worry about that much longer!