And the medal goes to.....

My mother has made an olympic sport out of meddling in my life. In fact, were it an actual sport, she would win a gold.. no, platinum... , no make that a Titanium medal. Since January of this year, my mom has been on a mission for me to find a man. Whereas this topic USED to be only a cursory inquiry, since retiring, she has far too much time on her hands, and has thus made this mission a full time pursuit. First she signed me up on e-harmony and match.com (29 dimensions of compatibility MY ASS!!!!!)... e-harmony was insistent upon matching me up with every minister they could find. Given my tendency toward libational intake and my propensity toward blackjack, I decided that these people MUST be mistaken. I had to cancel on them after they sent me a picture of a gentleman....(if you could call him that) in his underwear.

Oh, and did I mention that she paid for both memberships?

Since electronic media wasn't getting the job done to her satisfaction, she decided to find some warm bodies to hook me up with instead of electronic ones. Her first target: We'll call him gentleman A. Since before Easter, she has been trying to push me toward gentleman A, as he is a longtime friend of the Bender family. Fast forward to my graduation party last week, which Gentleman A (G.A. for short) attended.. We finally had a chance to talk and set a date, which honestly, I didn't mind, given how extremely hot he is.

We made plans to go out, and the day before our date, she calls me and tells me that she thinks Gentleman B (yet another longtime friend) would be a better match for me. Furthermore, there is a family coalition in favor of Gentleman B; they all made it a point to mention to him at the party (he also attended... G.B. for short) that they thought he'd be family by now. (to my endless delight) She starts G.A. bashing and trying to convince me that GB is the way to go...even going so far as to instruct me to go out with him AND providing information on how I could not-so-subtly let him know i'm interested. ( "When he leaves, baby, you give him a little kiss...maybe not on the mouth, but REAL close, so he gets the picture...." )

After she let me know who I needed to date, she then proceeded to call me multiple times in the following 3 days to find out a.) Did i call GB? b.) Why not? c.) What are you going to say? d.) You tell me when you call him, e.) Why don't you get off the phone with me and call him now?, f.) When are you guys going to hang out? and so on and so forth.

I actually had to call and complain to my father, who agreed with me that my mother should be sanctioned, and that there was an injunction against her on any other matchmaking activities. FOR A WEEK.

So I visited her yesterday. (Not yet a week). First thing she says to me:
"So which of your fellas have you talked to?"